Trafik Kazası Giriş

Biraz şu trafik kazasından bahsedeyim.

Hiçbir haksızlığın olmadı sanılan Amerikanya diyarının MIT’sinde, benim tez hocam ki Türkiye’de yardımcı doçent derlerde, orada assistant professor diye geçer, saçmabirgrup bunak proftan saldırıya uğramaya başladı. Ben bilgisayar modellemeli kuramsal fizik departmanında, bilgisayar gerekli, önce bizden bilgisayarları ‘ihtiyacınız yok’ gibi saçma bir gerekçeyle çalmaya çalıştılar. Sonra benim genç prof’u MIT’den attırmak istediler, o da başka bir iş buldu, Cornell’de… Carl Sagan’ın profesör olduğu üniversite.

Benim hoca o noktaya kadar fena değildi de, kendisi ayrılırken en genç ve tek kız öğrencisi olan bana; “Diğer bütün erkeklerin Boston’da kız arkadaşları ile hayatları var. Sen kızsın ve erkek arkadaşın bile yok. Onlar diplomalarını MIT’den alsın, sen de Cornell’e transfer ol!” deyince bende bütün şalterler attı ve MIT’de kaldım. 

Ama bir sorun vardı, tez hocam Cornell’deyken ayda en az bir oraya gitmem gerekecekti. Arabayla sanırım 8 saat ama hakareti kaldırmamıştım.

O sıralar bir eleman vardı, adam dağcıydı. Aslında emin değilim, ne kadar kampçıydı, ne kadar dağcıydı. Onunla ilgili, ‘onlarla ilgili’ dağa çıkacağız diye okul kulübündeki kızları kandırıp, çadırlarda çiftleşme hikayeleri duymuştum ama bu o kadar seviyesizdi ki, ben yine kendi yolumda dağlara çıkmak için elemanla dolanıyordum.

Yeni bir araba almam gerekiyordu uzun yol için. Benim eski araba Ford Festiva idi. İki erkek alıp onu taşıtabiliyordu, tekerlekli kola kutusu gibiydi. Adını Humbert Humbert koymuştum. Onu da anlatacağım.

Neyse, dağcı elemanla araba bakmaya gittik. Çok zeki ya, cip almamı önerdi. Hani dağda kamp yapmaya giderken de kullanılırdı, çadır, malzeme de sığardı.

İkinci el bir jip bulduk ama o civarda satılan tarzı, Toyota Corolla, eski kasadan. Sıradan bir sedanın yarı fiyatındaydı. Tamam, bankadan da dedemin Türkiye’de tarlaları var diye kıvırtarak aldım. Onun adını da Humbert Junior koydum, onu da anlatırım.

Sonra günü geldi, otobanda jiple takla attım…

Bagaj eski modelde açık olduğundan, arka koltukta da bavul olduğundan; takla sırasında arkadaki on kiloluk bavul uçtu, arkadan kafama çarptı.

Doğru aynen Amerikanyada inek öldürme usulü gibi, on kiloluk balyoz, pardon bavul kafama indi…

Boyundan sinirler hasar, sağ bilek oradan çolak, hop…

Hop hop hop…

Anlatırım.

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