Banyo ve Tuvaletler

Tamam, size kentsel dönüşüm benim izlenimimden giriyorum!

Efenim şimdi bir aralar %25 büyütmeye izin var diye bir kanun çıkmıştı. Herkes deli ya, arada bir çıkartıp sonra çekeceğiz diyorlar. “Gösteriyorum, şimdi tutmazsan yok sana!” hangi konularda konuşulur diye düşünürsün de, “Tevbe tevbe, iyi sıhatte olsunlar!” desen edebini tutabilir misin?

Neyse, artık kimseye laf etmek de yok da, “%25 büyüyebiliyorsun!” haberi çıkınca bizim binada neredeyse herkes atladı. Hani bol yağlı hamburger promosyonu gibi! “Aynı fiyata veriyoruz ve %25 büyüyeceksin!”

Nerem? Neremi?

Banu Alkan ne sevimli bir kadın ya! Neremy? Çözmüş müzisyenleriyle olayı!

Şimdi %25 büyütülünce bir salon büyüyor, bir de odalar. Ama sorun şu: Büyükçe olan eski evlerde hani şu banyo denilen olay vardı, bir de adı ‘küçük tuvalet’ olan yer. Hani banyoda işi olan varsa ki orası büyüktür geniştir, başkaları da küçük tuvaleti kullanır.

Şimdi banyoyu kim kapar olayı çok ciddidir, özellikle büyürken. Büyük banyolarda Türk’ün aklının çalıştığı mekana Leman dergisi ile girersiniz ama çoktan anladığınız şudur ki, mizah okumaya durduğunuzda hacet sırasında geniş bir mekana ihtiyacınız vardır. Gülerken anne babanın duyamayacağı kadar kapıdan uzakta olmalıdır ve elbette kikirlerin yankılanmasını sağlayacak duvar mesafesi bulunmalıdır. Ancak gerçekten mizah hisseden birisi küçük bir tuvalette Türk’ün aklıyla düşünür!

Ne demekse!

Neyse, bu yeni ‘büyüyecek oran buran’ evlerindeki tasarımlarda olay şudur: Banyo ya da tuvaletlerden biri ebeveyn odasındadır. Diğer banyo ya da küçük tuvalet ise çamaşır odası denilen bir yer ile bölünecektir.

Artık mizah sevgisiyle, Türk aklıyla düşünebileceğiniz geniş bir yer kalmayacaktır.  Babadan önce geniş banyoyu kapmak olası olmayacak, ebeveyn banyosu da daracık olduğundan sorun büyüyecektir. Evet, odalar geniştir ama onlarda Türk aklı çalışma seramik koltukları olmayacaktır!

Bizim dedeler Moğolistan civarından gelme ya, hani hep ağaçları kesti hepsi de kuraklık ve bozkır olunca Anadolu’ya geldiler derler ya. Bilemedim… Türk aklı, geniş yerde hacet getirmek için yapmış da olabilirler!

Neredeyse bütün kat malikleri %25 büyümek için hırslandılar. Annem o zamanlar babamla anılarının olduğu evi kaybetmek istemiyordu, beraber kazandıkları paralarla almışlar, döşemişler ya. Ben emin değildim, banyo bana uygundu, sonuçta kemale erince artık mizah dergilerine ihtiyacım yoktu, bir “Lop oldu! Hahhahah!” bana yetiyordu. Belki mizah dergileri artık o yüzden popüler değildi.

Ve böylece dar mekanlarda karikatürize tuvaletlerle yaşayabilenlerle kentsel dönüşüm macerası başladı.

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